Counseling Session on Stress Management: A Dialogue with David By Junaid Tahir With around 2500 daily visitors on DailyTenMinutes, some ...
Counseling Session on Stress Management: A Dialogue with David
By Junaid Tahir
With around 2500 daily visitors on DailyTenMinutes, some people approach us for counseling regarding stress, anxiety, and depression. Below is one of the most recent dialogues with a visitor named David (name changed due to privacy) which might help other visitors answering the most frequently asked questions on stress management.
David's Struggle with Mental Illness
David's Email:
Dear Junaid,
I have been suffering from mental illness since 1993. From 1993 to 2003, I was taking medicines for Gastro (Digestion). Then, from 2003 onwards till today, I take medicines prescribed by a psychiatrist, but I am confused whether it is mental or Gastro (Indigestion). The point is, I start getting stressed and nervous quite often. So I am under constant stress. I also get suicidal thoughts frequently, but somehow I am afraid to commit suicide. Please Junaid, help me as I am just living a simply hopeless life, and even my family remains disturbed.
Regards,
David
Junaid's Response:
Dear David,
Based on your email, below are the problems you are experiencing: frequent mood swings, depression, anxiety, tension, and Gastro issues. Generally speaking, stress, mood swings, and getting irritated are interlinked, which means a person gets easily irritated and disturbed when under stress. So, I believe that you need some major changes in your lifestyle to overcome your stress. Below are some questions which can help us analyze the situation in detail, and then we can plan necessary measures to improve things.
Analyzing the Root of the Problems
Junaid: Do you have financial problems? Are you in debt?
David: Not at all
Junaid: This is a good sign that you don’t have financial issues. A lot of people increase their stress levels due to financial problems. You must be thankful to the Lord about it. You must spend some time daily thinking about the fact that millions of people don’t have food to eat three times daily. This practice will improve your mental peace and give you a great feeling of contentment. Trust me, it works!
Junaid: Do you think too much about making others happy?
David: Yes, extremely, and I am afraid to say no.
Junaid: So, we found one of the reasons for your worries, and possibly this is the root cause of several other problems you are giving birth to. David, keeping everyone happy is not possible. Because every soul on earth is unique, having a completely different way of comprehending things. You cannot control others' brains; however, you can definitely control yours. So be honest, fair, and truthful with others, and try to have a clear conscience, a synced body-mind-soul, and then don’t really think too much about your acts and making others happy. Start ignoring thoughts of keeping others happy, and you will start improving your mental peace tremendously.
Junaid: Do you think too much about the past?
David: YES
Junaid: So this is your second problem (the first being thinking too much about others). There are two things you need to work on. First, develop the power of not looking back. Read my article by clicking here. Second, control your wandering thoughts. You must have noticed fish in an aquarium. All of the fish keep wandering here and there with no clear purpose. The human mind does the same act exactly. However, humans can control this unnecessary mind wandering. Surround yourself with good people, read great books, subscribe to good Facebook Pages, visit self-improvement websites such as DailyTenMinutes.com, etc.
Junaid: Do you think too much about the future?
David: Not much, but only for my single son.
Junaid: This is a natural thing. Everyone is concerned about their kids. A general advice would be not to think more than 2-3 years ahead (except for some major concerns like studies). Nowadays, things change quite often. You never know what is going to happen in the next six months. I know some people who planned too much, and one sudden event changed everything, making their whole planning exercise void. So my advice is to live in today. Enjoy what life is offering you today. Go to the market, hang out with friends, enjoy a nice dinner outside home, read a good book, visit a distant relative, explore a new city or country, visit a hill place, etc.
Junaid: Do you have good relations with your spouse and kids?
David: No, and totally shattered after my extramarital relationship was exposed to my wife and son.
Junaid: This is your third problem and requires your real focus. David, anyone can be wrong; it’s human nature. But confessing being wrong and apologizing is something only brave people do. And these are the real happy people. So you must approach your wife and son for the same. You must redevelop your family’s trust in you. Read the article by clicking here. Further, another 10 points program for a happy family is a highly recommended article.
Junaid: Do you have healthy professional circumstances?
David: No, but due to my mental illness, I struggle to go to my job almost daily.
Junaid: Since the reason for bad professional circumstances is stress, it would improve automatically once you overcome your stress and anxiety issues. Hence my prime suggestion is to focus on resolving your stress. However, if you specifically want to work on improving your professional life, you must avoid office politics, improve your corporate image, and develop healthy relationships with your peers.
Developing a Healthy Approach to Life
Junaid: Do you read good books?
David: No
Junaid: A highly recommended step! Book reading improves your vocabulary, concentration, focus, discipline, memory, creativity, and reasoning skills. It builds your self-esteem, expertise, and decreases mistakes and boredom. It also improves general knowledge and stops your brain from getting distracted. Visit your nearest bookstore and buy yourself a book on positivity, inspirational stories, humor, or a great leader of your country.
Junaid: Do you walk for 15 minutes daily or go to the park on weekends?
David: Not at all
Junaid: This is one of the brain and body-damaging habits. Walking has several advantages, such as reducing blood pressure, improved digestion, cholesterol control, a fresh brain, better sleep, and so on. Start doing this as soon as possible, in the morning or evening. If you don’t want to go alone, try finding a partner who can convince you when you are lazy.
Junaid: Do you laugh often? By watching funny programs or sharing jokes?
David: Yes, but only with some friends, not watching funny programs, but I enjoy listening to jokes.
Junaid: This is good. Keep it up. Laughing and smiling improve your mental health and are a good way of taking you away from your problems for some time. Remember, any small time spent away from worries is good for your physical and mental health.
Junaid: Do you have a best friend with whom you can share your feelings and discuss your problems?
David: Not at all
Junaid: Having friends is very important in today's stressful lifestyle. You can share your problems with them, take advice from them, hang out with them, and so on. Try to make friends at work or near your home. If nothing works, try finding friends on the internet. However, refrain from extramarital relations as you have already suffered due to this.
Junaid: When was the last time you gave something to charity?
David: I cannot recall
Junaid: People attain good spiritual and mental satisfaction when they give money to charity. Try to visit an orphanage, buy toys or clothes for orphans or poor people near your place, buy food for a needy family, give small tips to the restaurant staff, etc. I am sure the blessings of Almighty will increase in your life.
Junaid: When was the last time you rewarded yourself by buying something good for you?
David: I don't like buying for myself
Junaid: I personally believe that rewarding oneself is a good idea. You don’t need to buy a costly thing for yourself. You can buy a nice coffee cup, a new mobile phone, a nice book, a tuxedo, etc. This gives you inner happiness. Try it.
David, I believe that with the above recommendations in both sections, you will attain a better lifestyle, higher mental peace, and improved health. I highly recommend you to visit the “Stress Management” section of my website and spend 10 minutes daily to learn new tools and techniques. Stay blessed.
About Author: Junaid Tahir is a passionate blogger. He writes articles on Leadership, Stress Management and Life Enhancement subjects at his personal blog
